We Found Each Other in the Dark
by Oh-Finders-Keepers
Summary: When something terrible happens it is to Chloe that Beca runs, and it is Chloe who will become her rock in a cruel and relentless sea. The journey may just surprise them both. Rated T for adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This will hopefully be a multichapter Bechloe fic. Reviews are adored.  
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**Trigger warning: This story will deal with issues of assault and rape.  
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It startled her when there was a series of rapid, flustered knocks on her apartment door just after 2am but being who she was they didn't worry her. It was never Chloe's first instinct to leap to the negative. Some people would have heard that and instantly their heart would have begun a frantic rhythm in their chest, they would have been terrified before they'd even considered it. But instead she just uncurled herself from the nest she'd made from which to watch all the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies back to back and padded towards the door in her bedsocks and pajamas.

That nonchalance quickly dissolved when she opened the front door to find a distraught Beca on the other side, arms wrapped around herself like she hoped that could stop her shivering, and tears glistening silver on her cheeks.

"Beca what's wrong?!" she gasped, reaching forward instinctively and pulling the other girl into the apartment. She never had been one to consider 'personal space' and when one of her friends was so upset it was the last thing on her mind, even though she knew Beca was even jumpier than most people. Chloe let the apartment door swing shut behind them, her full attention on the younger girl who was now determinedly trying to wipe away the tears on her cheeks and failing in her attempt to not look tiny and miserable. "What is it?" Chloe asked in a quieter voice, moving towards her and placing her hands on the exposed skin of Beca's shoulders. It was only then that she realized Beca was wearing something extremely, well, un-Beca. A dress and heels, and even though they were black and still edgy looking, they just didn't look like her. She let her eyes flicker down the outfit skeptically for a moment before lifting to meet her gaze again quizzically.

Beca was clearly trying hard to pull back her usual controlled demeanor but a sob caught in her throat as she tried to get control of herself enough to speak. "It- I…he…"

This caught Chloe's attention in an instant. Jesse. Who else would Beca cry for? To be honest she was a little surprised to see her cry even over him, especially to the extent she clearly had been. She looked a complete mess, not at all the unbreakable and resolute girl Chloe was used to seeing. It wasn't hard for Chloe to pull on her caring, sympathetic expression. It was her nature to look after people around her. She wrapped an arm around Beca's trembling shoulders and pulled her towards the sofa.

"It's okay, Becs. Tell me what happened," she said in a soothing voice, running her hand rhythmically over Beca's back as she folded into the couch, instantly tucking herself up like she wished she could disappear. Chloe took a seat next to her but quickly pulled her hand away when Beca shifted uncomfortably under her touch, a shudder running through her. She wiped away her tears again and this time no fresh ones fell to replace them.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your plans…," she began, glancing around dubiously at the stack of dvd covers and the bowl of crips on the coffee table. Chloe pursed her lips, knowing exactly what Beca was going. It was obvious she hadn't interrupted anything, but now that she seemed to have gained some control over her emotions again she was putting those walls back up, protecting herself.

Chloe reached out and took Beca's hand gently but firmly. There had to be a bloody good reason the other girl was so upset and Chloe wasn't going to let her squirm her way out of this one. "Beca why are you crying?"

Beca shifted and looked away, her fingers playing with the edge of the blanket and pulling it nervously over herself, hiding the too short hem of her dress. Chloe understood and rose slightly, enough to pull the blanket out and tuck it around Beca. "Why are you dressed up?" she tried another tack. "Did you go out tonight?" She knew the dorms would have held Halloween parties, she'd been to a few wild ones in her time, but she was surprised that Beca would have gone. College parties just didn't seem like her scene.

But Beca nodded slightly though she still looked wary. "I was meant to meet Jesse at his dorm," she said carefully, not meeting Chloe's eyes. Chloe frowned, trying to figure out the context of her friend's misery. She'd assumed the two had had a fight, possibly even broken up (she tried not to the entertain that thought because she didn't want to be that horrible friend who secretly wished the relationship would shatter…even if she did wish that). She shifted and nuzzled in slightly to Beca, giving her an encouraging smile. Any minute really she expected Beca to push her away and return to her usual stoic aloneness. Chloe's instincts to comfort, to mother and sooth, were the exact opposite of what she sensed Beca usually allowed, but for some reason she didn't reject the closeness and even leant into her slightly, borrowing some of Chloe's warmth. Encouraged by this Chloe wrapped around blanket around the both of them and wrapped Beca in her arms too.

"Beca, seriously, what made you so upset?" she pressed in a quiet voice, staring the brunette down. She could almost physically sense the walls going up between them but she ignored it and lifted her chin stubbornly. Beca should already know that Chloe usually got her way, through sheer determined annoyance if nothing else. The memory of their encounter in the shower flickered through her mind but she dismissed it, now was not the time.

"I shouldn't have come here, I'm sorry Chloe, I don't know why I did, it's not your problem," Beca babbled, her distress at being cornered clear in her expression and voice. She shifted and tried to move out of Chloe's embrace, without any luck. Eventually she sighed and reluctantly met Chloe's gaze. "Chloe I don't want to talk about it."

"Well you turned up at my doorstep at 2 in the morning for some reason," she replied with a frown. "If you didn't have a fight with Jesse, why did you come here and not there?" It was a fair enough question in her mind. It was strange behavior for Beca, who had repeatedly rebuffed the red heads attempts at friendship…or anything more. And it seemed to her that the decision to knock on her door was a moment of weakness that Beca now regretted, and that hurt Chloe even if she didn't show it.

"I-I don't know," Beca replied, flustered, running a hand through her hair. Chloe jumped forward and grabbed Beca's hand, turning her wrist towards her. Beca tried to pull away quickly but it wasn't soon enough for Chloe to properly see the painful looking red marks sprinkling her skin.

"Beca, they look like fingerprints. Who did that?" she demanded, her voice low with worry as she frowned at where Beca had hurriedly withdrawn her hand into the folds of the blanket. She lifted her gaze to meet Beca's dark blue eyes which were once again glistening with threatening tears. She looked even more panicked than when she had arrived, as if she were torn between shouting at Chloe and storming from the apartment. Chloe braced for her to do both so she was shocked when instead Beca crumbled, her tense expression dissolving into more tears and sobs that shook her whole body as she caved in towards Chloe, whose arms went automatically around her as she pulled her closer. "Beca, who hurt you?" she insisted softly in her ear as she rubbed soothing circles on her back, unable to think how else to help. A small knot of anxiety was beginning to tighten in her stomach, dread and anger tangled together as she began to fear an answer to her question.

"I don't know," Beca managed eventually in a whisper between sobs. Chloe curled herself protectively around her friend, feeling helpless, so she just held her as she cried and closed her eyes and tried to exude positive energy like her yoga teacher taught her to. Eventually Beca's tears ceased and she lifted her head slightly looking nervously up at Chloe through tear matter hair. Chloe noticed strangely how her eyelashes clung together making her eyes look large and beautiful. She shook herself, furious at thinking such thoughts at a time like this.

Instead she met Beca's eyes with the most reassuring gaze she could summon. "Beca… do you want me to take you to the hospital? Or…or the police?" She held her breath, knowing Beca would understand instantly the real question behind her words. The real words hung heavy in the air between them. Rape. Chloe was pathetic. She didn't have the guts to outright ask her, so instead she twisted it into another question and left it up to Beca to confirm or deny the painful concerns growing inside her. When Beca nibbled at her lip and glanced away those concerns were confirmed and Chloe felt like ice had slipped through her veins. She pulled Beca to her in a bone crushing hug, not thinking that she might hurt her, and buried her face in her hair. "It's okay Beca, it's okay."

She felt Beca start crying again and before she could help it Chloe was crying too, crying at how angry and helpless she felt and crying for her friend. But a part of her was also overwhelmingly happy knowing that Beca had come to her tonight, instead of anyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter everyone! I really wasn't sure how the story was going to go down, and I was definitely encouraged by your reviews. I was particularly touched by the comments that I treated the issue sensitively, that means a huge amount to. me. I hope this chapter follows suit.**

Second **A/N (if you're reading this chapter for the first time perhaps don't bother with this): In response to a review from a guest I have altered the end of this chapter slightly. The case the reviewer makes is excellent, and one I had intended to put across but clearly didn't strongly enough. So although the decision remains the same (it needs to for later storylines that are important) I have acknowledged more the serious implications of that decision. I hope that is clearer to readers. Also it should be easy which review I'm referring to, and I think it's actually a really important comment that is good for people to read and be aware of. Thanks.**

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They sat holding onto each other in silence until a loud knock at the door made them both jump. This time Chloe's thoughts did go to bad places, because it was now 3.30am and she could feel Beca shaking in her arms. Aubrey was staying at a 'friend's' for the night so it wouldn't be her, besides, she wouldn't knock at her own apartment.

She'd half unfolded herself tentatively from the couch when a series of drunken voices slurred through the door.

"Trick or Treat!" followed by a burst of manic laughter and slurred calls.

Chloe exhaled gratefully. It was just a group of drunk college students attempting some rather late trick or treating. She hadn't even stood up properly when she heard one of them shout, "Dude I just saw a fucking rabbit!" and then with much banging and shouting she heard them disappear down the corridor to hopefully torment some other poor apartment. Chloe shook her head. Apparently drunk _and_ high. Always an entertaining combination.

Standing she turned to face Beca, taking a deep breath. "Feel up to going to the hospital yet?" she asked carefully.

Beca had wiped away her tears, smudging eyeliner down her cheeks but she didn't seem to notice. She looked like she was trying hard to pretend her breakdown hadn't happened. Chloe guessed Beca was not someone who let herself cry in front of other people. She respected that, but she didn't think it was always healthy. Chloe had never had that problem. She'd burst into tears in the middle of the school corridor many times when she was a teenager. But then she used to be a bit of a drama queen. Chloe didn't believe in censoring her emotions. She felt what she felt, and the world could just deal with that.

'_Liar_,' hissed a little voice in her head as she turned to pick up her bag, and she felt her knot of anxiety tighten. There were some thoughts, some feelings, which she very much kept to herself, but those feeling, the confusion she felt around Beca, were different she told herself. She shook her head dismissively and turned back to face Beca, bag over her shoulder. Beca was still sitting cocooned on the couch and Chloe hesitated when she made no sign of movement. "Beca?" she asked carefully, sitting down again.

"I don't want to go to the hospital," Beca mumbled, intently studying the hem of the blanket her fingers were playing with.

"It's important to get yourself checked for inju-" Chloe began reassuringly, placing a hand on her arm.

Beca shook her head. "No, I don't want to go to the hospital and I don't want to go to the police. I just want to pretend like this never happened. I'm sorry about burdening you with it Chloe, I shouldn't have come here, I don't know why I did, but please just forget about all of it." She was speaking fast, breathless, like she wanted to be rid of the words as fast as the memory.

Chloe stare at her in confusion, hand frozen on her arm. She couldn't quite comprehend what Beca was saying. She couldn't imagine anything worse than pretending like it hadn't happened, or anything more unhealthy for Beca. "I know you don't want to think about it now," she began after she'd gathered her thoughts, thinking perhaps Beca was just scared of telling people. "But I'll be with you and you can't ignore this Beca. This guy has to answer for what He did. You can't let Him get away with it." She felt her anger rising at the thought of someone who may have done this to her friend, to anyone really. She knew the threat of sexual assault was very real for college students these days but she'd never actually come across it before. She was surprised at how angry it made her to think of Him, especially the thought of Him getting away with it. She shook her head furiously. "No. Beca, you can't ignore this."

But Beca was stubborn too and Chloe saw her set her jaw and hunch her shoulders, a sure sign she was going into defensive mode. Chloe forced herself to relax her body, closing her eyes for a second as she focused on soothing thoughts. She wouldn't achieve anything if she pushed Beca to run. "B-" but she hadn't even got the first syllable out before Beca reacted so suddenly it made Chloe jump.

"I said no!" Beca practically shouted, rising and letting the blanket drop around her. "Look forget I came here Chloe, just forget it, I'm leaving." She spun before Chloe had time to react and was halfway to the door, suddenly controlled and powerful.

Chloe only just had time to leap from the couch and rush towards her as Beca moved to fling the door open. A hand pressed against it, Chloe stopped her, coming up close behind her. "Beca stop. You can't run out of here in the middle of the night. I won't make you go anywhere, but just stay alright?"

Beca hesitated, though she didn't have much choice being stuck between Chloe and the closed door. Slowly she turned to face her, wary, reminding Chloe of a trapped animal. Her eyes flickered around the room like she was looking for an escape but Chloe knew it was just instinct. Just as slowly, as she would with a trapped animal, Chloe lowered her arm and took a step backwards. She even held her hands up in front of her like some police movie. She tried to look Beca dead in the eye but it was difficult when she kept avoiding her gaze. "Just stay here tonight, you can sleep in Aubrey's room. And in the morning we can talk about this, okay?" She wasn't quite sure what 'this' was and she regretted saying it as Beca visibly flinched, but after a long, tense pause Beca gave an almost imperceptible nod. Chloe responded instantly, not wanting to give her a chance to change her mind. She leant over Beca's shoulder and twisted the lock on the door, making sure no one could get in who they didn't want. She wanted Beca to feel safe with her.

Then she turned and began to march around the apartment, disappearing into rooms and collecting bits and pieces like a squirrel. Beca stayed where she was and watched apprehensively as Chloe appeared and disappeared. Chloe always felt better when she had something to do. And she'd made it her mission as of now to look after Beca tonight.

She returned to the same spot where Beca still stood, arms crossed around herself protectively. Chloe shoved a bundle of objects at her. "Some spare sweats of mine, they might be a bit big but they should do." She paused, analyzing Beca intently for a second and nibbling at her lip. Then she heaved a sigh. Chloe knew what she would do, but it was Beca's choice and Chloe knew it might be a matter of pressing the issue and pushing Beca away, or accepting her decision and being allowed to help her. It wasn't even a decision as far as Chloe was concerned, her caring instincts were too strong to let her risk alienating Beca. "If you're certain you don't want to report this then here is a towel if you want to go have a shower. There's soap and such in there, feel free to use mine- it's pomegranate- um and if you want something to eat or whatever I can make something while you change?" She reeled off her list in a rush and Beca seemed a bit overwhelmed.

"Um no, thanks," she muttered, looking at the pile of fabric in her hands. She pulled the towel to the top. "I might take you up on that shower though."

Chloe hesitated again, and placed her hand lightly on top of Beca's on the towel. "Bec, are you sure about this? There might be no going back on the decision." She saw in Beca's eyes that she understood what Chloe was saying. If she took that towel and walked into that shower she might lose any chance of bringing this guy to justice. But Chloe also saw with a sinking heart Beca's absolute conviction as she stared back defiantly, and she sighed again.

She placed a gentle hand on Beca's back, she was silently pleased when Beca didn't object or flinch to her touch, and guided her towards the bathroom. "I'll be just out here when you're done, okay? Call out if you need anything." Her voice was completely earnest. Since that day when they sung Titanium together she had thought many times about Beca in the shower, whether she wanted to think about it or not, but at that moment all she wanted was for the little brunette to know that someone else was there to help her through this, whether she thought she needed that help or not.


	3. Chapter 3

When she flew into consciousness Chloe's heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she could feel the ache in her ribs. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling and concentrating on deep, even breaths until the panic in her veins subsided. She couldn't remember what she'd been dreaming about, she never could on the rare occasion she had nightmares, but the residual terror in her body told her she should probably be grateful she couldn't remember. She rolled over, swinging her legs out of the sheets. Then she remembered the events of last night with a sickening crash and sat bolt upright.

She glanced at the alarm clock and her shoulders relaxed slightly when she saw it was still early. 6am. She always rose early, alarm clock or no, but today she felt tired unlike she normally did. She ran a hand over her eyes and tried to shake it off. She'd need to be her calm, collected, caring self even more than usual today. She wasn't entirely sure what to expect from Beca with the light of day.

Chloe was still hoping she could convince her to file a police report for the attack, at the least go to the hospital. The worry was eating away at her, mostly because she knew the younger girl could be just as stubborn as Chloe herself.

She climbed from her bed and padded through the apartment. She eased open the door of Aubrey's room, careful not to place her weight on the floorboard that creaked. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Beca curled beneath the covers, apparently asleep. She wouldn't have put it passed her to sneak out in the middle of the night, and despite Beca thinking she knew what she wanted or needed right now, Chloe was inclined to disagree.

She hovered in the doorway for a moment, biting her lip nervously. Then, after glancing around even though there was no one to judge her, she slipped into the room and crept silently to the edge of the bed. She looked down at Beca with a pounding heart, not even sure whether it was nerves, concern or something else. It was odd how different the other girl looked when she slept. Between her tears and the shower the dark makeup that usually lined her doe eyes was smudged away and without the usual guardedness of waking she looked younger, and softer. Chloe shifted restlessly and wondered what Beca really hid behind her cold and detached exterior. It was obvious to Chloe it was a defense mechanism, she didn't need to be majoring in psychology to know that, but the real question was what had pushed her to push everyone else away. Self preservation was all well and fine but it had its limits. Chloe sighed and turned, padding back to the door and shutting it silently after her. She had no doubts that whatever it was Beca kept hidden behind that hostility wasn't going to be helped by what had happened last night.

…

It was only an hour later that she heard the sounds of Beca emerging, an hour for Chloe spent nibbling nervously at her thumbnail and starting tasks before walking away and forgetting all about them. She'd made three cups of coffee and drunk none of them when the door to Aubrey's room creaked open and she turned to face Beca.

She was nervous, oddly. Chloe hardly every got nervous because she figured she just did her best and that was all she had control over. But her stomach was twisting like it had when she woke from her dream and she found herself at a complete loss for what to say. That was terrifying. Normally when she was out of words Chloe actually just talked more, and faster, till she eventually stumbled upon the ones close to what she was trying to say. But this time she opened her mouth and she just felt…nervous.

It didn't help that Beca was looking at her exactly as she had the first time they'd ever met, at the Activities Fair. It was a look that told her Beca distinctly didn't trust her. Then, the look had been matched by a wryly amused smile as she not so subtly laughed at Chloe and Aubrey, but now it just looked painful. Chloe swallowed.

She flattened her hands against her legs. "Beca, I know you don't want to but I really think I should take you to the hospital. Even if you don't want to tell the police we can figure something out to tell them." She looked at Beca pleadingly but Beca's expression was blank and stony and she knew she didn't have a chance. She just couldn't understand it.

Beca was back in her dress from the night before and Chloe decided not to comment on this. Her heels dangled from one hand. She began to move towards the door, without even looking properly at Chloe, and it was only then that Chloe realized she intended to leave.

"What are you doing?" she asked hurriedly, moving swiftly after Beca.

Unpausing Beca reached the door, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and half turned to Chloe. "I'm going home. Thanks for letting me stay here last night but I just want to go back to my dorm now." She placed a hand on the doorknob and Chloe's heart rate picked up.

She shook her head in confusion. "Beca, no, you can't just leave. Let's talk about this okay?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Chloe!" Beca half shouted, rounding on her and glaring at her. She stared Chloe down as if she dared her to say it, dared her to oppose her. Chloe tried to hold her look for as long as possible but eventually she dropped her gaze, shame flooding her as she knew she wasn't strong enough to stand up to Beca on this. How could she? If Beca didn't want to talk how could Chloe make her? She wrapped her cardigan tight around her, hugging herself. She hated feeling like this, all this tension and sadness mixed up on a tight knot.

"Beca, please, just stay a little longer," she said weakly. Beca opened the door and marched through it without responding. Chloe moved after her and collided with a blonde walking through the door.

"Chloe!" Aubrey exclaimed, shocked, as she steadied herself on the door frame. She looked between Chloe and down the corridor where she had presumably just passed a vicious look Beca. With Aubrey blocking the door, and hearing Beca's footsteps clatter down the stairs at the end of the hallway, Chloe realized she'd missed her chance, if she ever had one. Beca had run away and Chloe didn't know what to do. She bit her lip and stepped back, letting Aubrey into the apartment. "Did Beca stay here last night?" she asked, throwing another confused look down the corridor before stepping in and shutting the door behind her. She turned to face Chloe and her eyes travelled down her and back up again. "Wait! You two didn't…?" Chloe never had been able to hide anything from Aubrey, not even the flicker of an idea about a certain girl in the Bellas.

"No!" Chloe snapped, and then forced herself to take a deep breath at the shocked and hurt expression on Aubrey's face. She ran a hand over her eyes. "I'm sorry Brey. No, nothing like that happened. Beca just needed a place to crash last night." The semi-lie was out of her mouth before she'd even contemplated whether to tell Aubrey what had happened. As Aubrey stared at her intently Chloe bit her lip, wondering why she hadn't told the truth. Beca hadn't specifically said not to tell anyone, but it was pretty much implied in the statement '_pretend like this never happened'_.

"Chlo…you okay?" Aubrey asked hesitantly a few moments. They'd known each other since they were playing with Barbie Dolls, Aubrey could read Chloe like a book. Which just meant she was going to have to be an excellent actress if she was going to keep Beca's secret, at least until she could talk properly to her and convince her to face it herself.

Chloe gave a tired smile. "Yeah, just tired Brey. She's not the easiest houseguest."

Aubrey laughed, seemingly buying Chloe's story. It wasn't really that hard, seeing as Aubrey's opinion of Beca wasn't exactly sky high. She brushed passed Chloe and dumped her bag onto the sofa, collapsing into it. Chloe followed, throwing one last glance at the door. "So how was your night?" she asked, falling into the cushions beside her best friend.

Aubrey gave a smug smile and flicked her blonde curls over her shoulder. "It was…eventful."

For a moment it was almost like normal, and Chloe could believe she wasn't riddled with worry and the only thing she wanted to talk about in that moment was her best friend's naughty slumber party. She smiled before she caught herself, before she thought it inappropriate to be smiling. "Eventful? Aubrey!? Has the Ice Queen finally found someone to melt her heart?" she joked, using the nickname that Aubrey had been given in high school, and which Chloe had turned into a gentle tease to make her feel better.

"Mind your own business, Chloe May Beale," Aubrey retorted smugly, like a cat who had eaten the cream. "This Ice Queen will never melt a drop."

"Yeah." Chloe rolled her eyes. "That's what you want the world to think. I know the real you, remember." She fell into silence, thinking that there were too many _reals_ in her life right now. Aubrey didn't notice, she was too busy basking in the glow of whatever she'd been up to all night. She gazed at nothing, smiling for a long time, and then snapped into action Aubrey style. "Right! Time to move that lazy ass of yours Miss Beale, we have a Bellas' rehearsal to crash. Let's see how those nerds are managing in our absence. Beca better not have screwed up all our hard work."

"Brey, I'm not sure now is-"

But Aubrey wasn't listening. She was already striding around the apartment with only her goal in mind. Chloe sighed and stood up. Time to face the music…so to speak.

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**A/N: Thank you for the reviews lovelies. Writing this chapter I was a little concerned about writing out of character but then I decided that we really don't know much about certain sides of the characters' personalities so it's hard to know what's OOC and what's not. Anyway, let me know what you think, whether you think the characters seem plausible, I'd love the feedback.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm sorry for the delay readers, I had serious writer's block on this chapter. I can promise it won't be such a long wait for the next one. Thank you everyone who has reviewed and/or followed.**

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The surprise, however, came for Chloe when she followed Aubrey into the Bellas rehearsal an hour and a half later. They'd stopped by the campus coffee shop for caffeine just like old times, and Aubrey had flirted with Henrik the cute German exchange student behind the till, just like old times.

Even though they were both still living in one of the campus senior apartments, Chloe hadn't spent much time on campus recently. Aubrey was working with the college's legal department as an internship, and Chloe was working with the social welfare agency that was based next to the college. So she felt good as she followed Aubrey through the familiar corridors and gardens, except for wondering how she was going to explain to Aubrey why Beca wasn't leading the rehearsal. She'd been forming a convincing story about Beca mentioning she was coming down with something, when she stepped into the tiered room and stopped dead in her tracks.

Aubrey kept moving, nodding approvingly and giving Beca a little wave, just to be sure the other girl knew she was there and she was watching. Beca ignored her and continued to talk the girls standing around her through the layers of the piece they were doing.

After a pause, blinking a few times, Chloe slowly followed Aubrey and took a seat, watching the rehearsal. Stacie turned around and gave her a big smile and wave, which she tried to return as convincingly as possible.

"Hmmm, I suppose they're doing alright," Aubrey said critically, leaning into Chloe as she studied the girls dancing. She pursed her lips and kept 'hmming' at certain parts, and occasionally tsking. Chloe knew though that she was proud, deep down. She could criticize all she wanted but there'd be hell to pay if she was really disappointed. Aubrey's pride just wouldn't let her admit they could manage without her.

Beca ignored the pair of them for the duration of the rehearsal, and Chloe found herself studying her closely, analyzing every little frown as she moved and every time she took a deep breath. She knew Beca knew she was watching her, simply from the way Beca didn't once look in her direction. As the rehearsal wore on she tuned out Aubrey's comments and found herself wondering what she should say to Beca. She wanted to convince her to talk, of not to Chloe than to someone. She may only have done two semesters of a psychology major, but she knew that traumatic experiences didn't go away simply because you wanted them to. The longer you pushed them away the worse they became.

As soon as the rehearsal was over most of the girls bounced over to them, hugging Chloe and then hugging Aubrey a little more timidly.

"Knew you bitches couldn't stay away too long," Amy said proudly and Aubrey smiled.

"Just making sure Beca's not completely destroying all my hard work," she joked, throwing a look passed Amy to where Beca was rummaging through her bag on the other side of the room, still ignoring them. Stacie delved into a story about a run in with the Trebles and Chloe took the opportunity to slip away from the group and walk over to Beca.

Even though she didn't look up Beca knew she was coming, because as soon as Chloe got close enough Beca tried to escape.

"Beca, wait." Chloe stepped in front of her, forcing her to look up.

"Chloe I really don't want to talk, okay? Can you just drop it?"

"I haven't even said anything yet," Chloe protested, one ear listening for the banter happening behind her to make sure they others were all occupied.

Beca heaved a sigh and swung her satchel over one shoulder. "Well I doubt you were going to congratulate me on how amazing the Bellas are sounding," she replied sarcastically.

Chloe frowned. She didn't understand why Beca was being so cagey. She was just trying to help. In the absence of anything else to stay she settled on the truth. "I wasn't expecting you to be here…today I mean. I tried to talk Aubrey out of coming…"

"Why wouldn't I be here?" Beca challenged, looking Chloe right in the eye. There was steel in her gaze which Chloe only remembered seeing when Beca had been going head to head with Aubrey, determined to make the other girl listen to her. Of course, it hadn't worked and Beca had fled. 'Stormed out' she probably preferred to call it but it had looked to Chloe an awful lot like she'd run away from having her heart broken, her hopes crushed.

Chloe held her gaze, minus the anger. Mostly she just felt confusion, and frustration at how out of her depth she was. Chloe wasn't as controlling as Aubrey, but she wasn't a fan of feeling this lost and unsure.

"I don't know what to do. I'm just trying to help, Beca." She tried the truth again, shrugging her shoulders and hoping the earnestness in her voice could slip passed Beca's walls. She should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

"I don't need your help!" Beca exploded. "Go find a lost puppy to rescue or something Chloe because I don't need you."

"Beca-"

"Chloe just leave me alone!" Beca half-shouted in exasperation, shoving passed her. They both realized at the same moment that the room was completely silent, and, as Beca turned, Chloe looked passed her to see the others all staring at them in surprise. Aubrey was frowning, looking like she was ready to take Beca down, and Amy and Stacie were gaping at them. Beca growled in anger and stormed out, leaving everyone's gaze directed solely at Chloe. After she had recovered herself slightly she gave them all a small smile and a shrug, trying to pretend it was nothing.

"Lover's tiff?" she heard Amy whisper loudly to Cynthia Rose who smirked.

"Artistic differences," Chloe said loudly, walking towards them with a forced, big smile. "Nothing to worry about. You know how well Beca handles criticism," she tried to joke, receiving a small murmur of agreement from the Bellas. She knew when she glanced passed Aubrey that she hadn't convinced her, not that she'd expected to. She raised an eyebrow questioningly but Chloe just shook her head minimally.

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"It's not your problem," Aubrey had told her. She didn't know what 'it' was- Chloe still felt she couldn't tell her if Beca didn't want her too- but she knew that Beca had shouted at Chloe and Chloe was upset, and that was enough for Aubrey to go into protective-defensive mode, with Beca as her target. No matter how much Chloe protested Aubrey seemed to be convinced that Beca was the devil because she was making Chloe upset.

Chloe called Beca's mobile every day and after five days her voicemail messages actually verged on angry, unusual for Chloe. Looking at herself objectively, she knew that if she were doing this to any guy she was dating, she'd smack herself over the head for being clingy, but this was different.

She told herself that Beca just needed some space, that was what stopped her from visiting her. She had _some_ self control at least. She thought perhaps Beca would just come around in her own time. Maybe she'd even already talked to someone about it, though Chloe wasn't sure who that would be. Jesse, maybe? She tried to think who else there could be, but she came up blank. Either Beca had been very good at not telling them much about herself, or she didn't really have anyone else. Possibly both.

Still, she used all her self control and she told herself Beca hadn't wanted her help and there was only so much Chloe could do without some give from Beca. She told herself that but she wasn't sure she believed it. She still felt guilty.

The day Aubrey stormed home, slamming the door, and cursing "that useless, hypocritical, angsty bitch Beca Mitchell" Chloe decided on the spot that she was going to have to change her approach. She didn't need Aubrey's rant about how Stacie had come to her concerned about the Bellas because Beca hadn't been to a rehearsal in four days, to know that her hopes had been fatally misjudged.

She bumped into Kimmy Jin outside their dorm room, she'd been so lost in her thoughts of how to approach the situation. She'd just told Aubrey she'd talk to Beca and try and get her to go back to rehearsals. Aubrey had been too angry to tell that Chloe was lying.

"Oh! I'm sorry," Chloe exclaimed as she felt herself colliding with someone in the corridor, and immediately reached out to steady them. She looked up and pulled back immediately, recognizing Beca's sullen roommate. "Oh. It's Kimmy, isn't it?" Chloe tried to be friendly, even though she knew from her few encounters that this girl wasn't going to return the favour.

Sure enough she received a hateful glare that raked from her feet to her head. "Kimmy Jin, actually," she replied in a cold voice and moved to keep walking.

Chloe spun, realizing the opportunity that had just crashed into her. "Oh um, I'm just here to see Beca, is she in?"

Kimmy Jin snorted. "She hasn't left. For three days. She's driving me nuts."

Chloe felt a swirl of concern, adding to the twist already planted in her stomach from Stacie's message. "What, you mean she hasn't left her room in three days?"

Kimmy Jin gave her a look that said 'Are you deaf? Didn't I just say that?'

Chloe nodded quickly. "Oh. Um, I don't suppose you could let me in, could you? I really need to talk to her." She held her breath and looked hopefully at Kimmy Jin.

Again, she should have known better. The other girl huffed and turned away. "Do I look like her personal doorwoman?" She stalked off before Chloe could protest and she was left facing the closed and locked door knowing that Beca wouldn't answer it.

Still, she knocked…three times. And then she called out, even though she knew announcing who it was would likely decrease the chances of Beca opening the door. She was just about to knock again when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw an unknown number flash up on the screen.

With a sigh she looked at the unrevealing white door in front of her and walked away, pressing the answer button and lifting it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Chloe? It's Jesse. Um…Beca's boyfriend?"

Chloe stopped walking. "Jesse! Oh, yes, I know who you are."

She turned back to look at the door, wondering if he was in there and was calling her because he'd heard her knocking.

"I'm sorry to get your number from Amy but I was wondering if you've seen Beca? Or talked to her? I think she's ignoring me, I haven't seen her in days and she won't answer her phone or her door."

Chloe's heart sank. So there went her theory that Beca had opened up to Jesse. It was worse than she'd thought because she was shutting out absolutely everyone, literally _and_ figuratively. Chloe nibbled at her lip and danced from one foot to the next. The silence stretched down the phone line and she tried to decide how to answer Jesse.

Her eyes traced the line of the door again. "Jesse, can you meet me in twenty minutes? At the Brew?" She wondered if he could sense the strain in her voice. There was another long moment of silence and she would have given anything to know what he was thinking.

"Sure," he replied eventually, his voice unreadable. "I'll see you in twenty minutes."

He hung up and Chloe exhaled shakily and closed her phone. She was doing the right thing…wasn't she? Well, she had to do something, and this was all she could think of. Jesse was the only person who she could tell, and he cared about Beca so he had a right to know. The logic of the argument didn't make her feel any less anxious though as she walked quickly from the dorm rooms and headed towards the campus coffee shop.


	5. Chapter 5

Jesse looked as apprehensive at Chloe felt when she made her way across the café to meet him. She hadn't even sat down when he met her eyes with a surprising fierceness.

"Did Beca send you here to break up with me?"

Momentarily taken aback by the bluntness of his question she just stared at him, one hand gripping the back of the chair. Then she shook her head quickly. "No! Jesse…Beca would never do that."

His shoulders slumped. "I know. I just…why else would you want to talk to me?" He looked defeatedly down at the table. "I mean when she won't return my calls or anything I was beginning to wonder."

Chloe took a deep breath and slowly lowered herself into the seat across from him. She glanced around. This was odd, her meeting with Beca's boyfriend. At first she'd found herself inexplicably resenting him, hating him even, but she couldn't continue with that when she'd seen Beca smile at him.

She placed her hands on the table in front of her and laced her fingers, lifting her eyes to catch Jesse watching her.

"You're nervous?"

"Yeah," she exhaled.

"What did she say?"

Chloe paused before answering. "I don't know. She won't talk to me either." Jesse frowned and opened his mouth but before he could answer Chloe barreled on. "Jesse…did you see Beca the night of Halloween?" Chloe asked carefully, watching his expression. He looked confused and then shook his head in that puppy dog way he had.

"No. I was meant to meet her at my dorm for the party but I got held up at the radio station. I was just leaving when she texted me and told me she was over the party already and tired and going home. I mean, it was a little disappointing, I had my costume ready and everything and I wanted to see hers but.." he trailed off, shrugging.

Chloe's head picked up. "Costume?" Beca hadn't been dressed up when she arrived at her apartment, well she _had_, but not in the Halloween sense.

Jesse nodded and gave a small, rueful smile. "She wasn't going to bother, said it was for little kids and idiots."

"Sounds like Beca," Chloe muttered and Jesse nodded. He was leaning back in his chair and Chloe resisted the urge to tell him not to. Instead she focused back on what he was saying.

"Yeah well, I jokingly told her she should dress up as a girl for a change. After she finished punching me she actually considered it. Now you see why I was so bummed about missing her costume."

Chloe pressed her lips together, holding in her thoughts on the matter. So that had explained the dress, and the heels. She'd been wondering about that. Something made her think that no one would ever get Beca into a dress again.

"Chloe, what's going on?" Jesse asked and she blinked him back into focus to notice that he was leaning on the table, studying her intently. Nervously she took a breath. "I can tell that something's up," he pressed. "You're never this quiet and I don't think you've smiled once since you got here, which again, not really very you."

Chloe flushed slightly, embarrassed to have been noticed so much. She'd not spent a great deal of time with Jesse, but she supposed her usual personality was so pushy that he didn't need much time to notice it. Still, she felt caught out knowing he'd noticed something was wrong.

"Beca came to my place the night of Halloween," she said carefully.

"Oh." Jesse's expression went blank and he leaned backwards, as far away from her as he could get. "I knew she felt….but…I didn't think…um…" he stopped, deciding it best not to continue, his eyes fixed determinedly on the table top and his hands clasped together tight so his knuckles had gone white. Chloe frowned at him until suddenly she understood his reaction, realizing he thought the same as Aubrey had.

"No! Jesse, not like that! Beca would never do that to you." She didn't even properly process what he'd said as she tried to reassure him. The last thing she wanted was Jesse thinking she'd do something like that. Once, she had accidentally broken up a relationship and she'd felt awful about it for months. The guy hadn't told her he had a fiancée, and when the irate woman had cornered Chloe in the parking lot, Chloe had broken down in tears. For months she'd felt too guilty to even risk smiling at another guy.

Jesse's shoulders visibly relaxed. "Oh. Good. I mean, sorry, I didn't mean to imply-"

"It doesn't matter," Chloe said quickly and they fell into a moment of awkward silence, neither meeting the other's eye.

"So why did she stay at your place? And why did you want to talk to me about it?" Jesse's tone was still suspicious, though there was a little anxiety mixed in there too now. Having ruled out an affair, his mind was no doubt running to other places.

Chloe took a deep breath and straightened her back. Jesse shifted in his chair too as if he was trying to physically prepare himself for what she had to say. She had to do it, she had to tell him. The secret was eating away at her, the guilt of knowing and not doing anything, the pressure of the responsibility. But it wasn't just her. Really, she was telling him so he could help Beca, probably better than she could. Beca trusted Jesse, she might let him help her. That was what she was telling herself anyway as she opened her mouth and let the words tumble out of her in a rush.

"Beca was raped. At the party, and she came to my place afterwards because, well I don't really know why, but then she wanted to pretend like it hadn't happened and she pretty much made me promise not to tell anyone and I didn't but now I can't do it anymore and she's not okay and I don't know what to do and you're the only person she seems to trust."

By the time she stopped she was crying and Jesse had frozen, staring at her but not seeing her. Chloe covered her face with her hands and let her hair fall in front of her like she did when she was a kid and she thought if she couldn't see anyone then they couldn't see her.

"Chloe," she tried to stop crying when she heard Jesse speak her name, and wiped away the tears on her cheeks as she peeked up at him. He was staring at her, open mouthed, obviously still trying to process what she'd said. "How…wh…why didn't she tell me?"

Chloe shrugged tearfully and shook her head. "I'm sorry Jesse, I should have told someone before, but I thought she'd let me help her and I didn't want to break her trust." Now that she said it it sounded like a pathetic excuse. She felt so ashamed. She thought she'd been doing the right thing but now it just all looked like a terrible mistake.

Jesse looked awful. His face had turned ashen and he looked like he was working very hard not to burst into tears as well, something Chloe found unusual in a guy. Gingerly Chloe reached out and gently touched his hand where it was clenched on the table. At her touch his hand flew backwards and he jumped. "Sorry," he muttered when he realized it was only her. His eyes drifted to meet her gaze and he looked lost. "What do I do?" he asked in a soft voice. Chloe stared at him for a long moment and then shook her head.

"I don't know. I didn't know what to do and I still don't." She felt herself crying again, usually her natural response. It was as if all the pent up emotions of the last few weeks were only now rising to the surface.

Suddenly Jesse stood up, his chair making a loud scraping sound on the floor. People glanced over at them and then paused a moment when they saw Chloe's tears. A few people's eyes flickered between Chloe and Jesse so she forced herself to smile reassuringly at them and wipe away the tears.

"Jesse-" she began, looking up at him.

"I need to go and talk to her," he interrupted her, nodding his head. He didn't look at sure as he sounded. Chloe didn't get the chance to say anything as he turned and walked away from her without another word. Chloe watched him go till he paused and glanced back at her.

"Chloe? Thanks, for being there. She's lucky to have you."

She gave him a tearful smile. She didn't feel like she'd been there. She felt guilty about keeping a secret and now she felt guilty about telling it. She was doomed either way.

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**A/N: Hey, you know, if you've gotten this far, I'd really love a review... :)**

**I hope this change of pace to the story is keeping everyone on their toes. Trying my best to keep a balance between realistic and interesting in terms of pace.**


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